EDITOR’S NOTE: Each He Said-She Said column features a reader's question with responses from a male and female point of view. If you’ve got a question about anything related to living the single life, please submit here (selected questions will be posted anonymously).
QUESTION: Should you wait until you are married to buy a house or is it okay to buy a house as a single adult?
HE SAID: There are two assumptions that I will make in answering this question.
- Marriage is not in the near future or you can not see it happening anytime soon.
- Purchasing a house is financially viable (you have the money, a job, little or no debt, and the house will be a positive investment).
Based on these assumptions, I have two answers, “Why not wait” and “Why not buy.”
Why Not Wait
Nearly ten years ago this was my answer to the question – Should I wait to buy a house until I get married? At the time, I was living with a fun group of guys, in a great house, in a great location, and saving money. I thought why would I want to give this up for a mortgage payment and home responsibilities, especially since I was sure that I was going to get married within a couple of years?
I couldn’t find any specific verses in the Bible that substantiated my viewpoint; however there were two that helped me think through my thoughts of buying a home as a single.
I would like you to be free from concern (1 Corinthians 7:32).
But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world ... and his interests are divided (1 Corinthians 7:33-34).
Although these verses had more to do with the question of getting married or staying single, they made me think about how homeownership would affect me and my lifestyle.
Since my work required me to travel frequently, I was not home very often. Did I want to spend my time in town taking care of a yard and fixing things around the house? Would the additional responsibilities take away my ability to participate and volunteer in church activities?
As a self-employed individual, my income varied month to month. If I didn’t have work for a month or two, would the purchase of a home cause me stress or financial hardship? Would my mortgage payment and home expenses impact my giving to church and other ministries?
Should I spend my expendable income on furnishing my home even though I may move at some point due to my work? What if my future spouse doesn’t like the home or how I decorated it?